


In Search of Humans

by FleetSparrow



Series: Story a Day in May 2018 [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 09:27:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14517459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FleetSparrow/pseuds/FleetSparrow
Summary: A fastidious alien who comes to Earth in search of humans, then meets some and wonders why it bothered in the first place.





	In Search of Humans

**Author's Note:**

> Day 2 of Story a Day in May. The prompt was "A _______ (adjective) ________(noun), who _________(verb) ___________(subject), then _________(related verb) __________(resolution)"

"The humans do not incinerate their clothing, merely 'wash' them before wearing them again," Podlar reported in its telejournal. "This should drive down the market for clothing, yet humans continue to purchase more. Will need more study."

Podlar looked up at the human with which it was currently staying. "Now, tell me, hum-- ah, Terry, how do you eat?"

Terry was more than a little skeptical of this alien creature that had landed in their living room, but it had insisted that Terry continue doing whatever they normally did, so Poldar could get a real view of how humans were. Poldar looked like a deer crossed with a cat, with cat paws and deer legs, a deer's face with a cat's whiskers, and a long white cottontail. Around its neck it wore a recording device, which it spoke into every time Terry did something.

It was all very strange.

"Well, probably a lot like you do," Terry said, picking up their sandwich, which they had been about to eat before their living room had become the landing spot for Poldar. "We just pick it up, take a bite, and chew." They demonstrated.

"I see," Poldar said, licking its front paw. It almost looked like it was trying to mimic what Terry had done. "Human teeth are meant for this chewing, yes?"

"Yeah. Aren't yours?"

Poldar opened its mouth to display a row of pointy teeth. "We tear and then it dissolves in our belly."

"Cool."

Poldar cocked its head. "What has the temperature to do with eating? Do humans only eat when it is cool? Does the heat make it hard to chew?"

"No, cool is like.... It means something's good. Like something's unique and good. Interesting."

Poldar's deer ears twitched in thought. "I see. So I am unique and good and interesting, and not of a cool temperature. Very interesting." It reported this discovery in its telejournal while Terry finished their sandwich.

"Are all humans cool?" it asked.

"Some are. Some are just di-- uh, not cool," Terry said. Poldar lowered its head in understanding, before grooming its paws some more.

Terry watched this. "You're very neat."

"Human planet is filthy. Must clean."

Terry's mouth pressed into a line. "My house is fine. I mean, it's not like a lab, but it's cozy."

"Cozy means dirty, yes?"

"Rude."

"Do all humans accumulate such things," Poldar asked, looking around the crowded room. "These things are not shiny or toys."

"Well, some of them are," Terry said. "But they're all stuff I like. Stuff I need."

"Humans need trash. But humans destroy trash. You are a very contrary species."

"Yeah, tell me something I don't know," Terry mumbled. "It's not trash, it's stuff. There's a difference."

Poldar looked around again, judging the room. "Humans would find themselves trapped in invasions."

Terry stood. "Are you planning on invading us?"

Poldar stood to its full height, not that tall because it was only deer sized. "Invasion for science."

"Well, you know what I'd have to do about that?" Terry asked, coming over to Poldar. "I'd have to do this!" They trapped Poldar in a bear hug. Poldar let out a yowl and bucked, but Terry had a good grip. Poldar's claws dug into the carpet of the living room.

"What is this? This is a personal attack! Human getting smell all over!"

"You're pet-sized. You're huggable." Terry let go. "Hugs are cool."

"Hugs not cool! Hugs not cool at all!" Poldar shrieked into its telejournal. "Humans have weapon called hugs. Humans too powerful. Must cut mission short."

Poldar ran out of Terry's reached and spoke into the telejournal. "Requesting immediate removal. Quickly, before the hugs come back!"

Instantly, Poldar was gone, only the indentations of cat paws in the carpet to show it had ever been there at all.

"That's a shame," Terry said. "It looked so cuddly."


End file.
